Velocaches In Play

#4 FOUND! Awaiting pictures...go to and register a complaint!




Tuesday, November 17, 2009

#24 Hours of Bubaline

Saturday found me on the old cross bike from about 8 am until 4 pm, doing random odds, ends, errands, and heroic detail from Huckleberry Hill to Castroville and back. Found time to sneak out to Ord to continue this game of hide the beers, with the sun beating down on a beautiful November day.

I was heading up to the site of #23, but since the small print at the end of the previous post suggested trickery, I thought I'd stop at the caprock on my way to replenish my constitution....and what have we here?

Now, were I a lazier man I would have called it a day, smug in the knowledge that I had tricked the trickster, pranked the prankster, fucked the fuckster (?) who had clearly devised some scheme to make me pedal up that damn hill just to turn around. But a better man than I said it best:

"When I'm paid, I always see the job through"

So with that I soldiered on, down 50 and up 49 to the rock, all the while whimpering for my softie mountain bike gearing. Finally made it up the road that was known as 3 sisters until recently, and settled into the original site of #24.

Oh, but I had already seen through the trick! But then I biked up there now I'm confused. Am I smart or dumb?

Now that I had "earned it", I opened up the VC box to find a veritable trove of treats, including 2 cans O Bud, stickers, patches, cowbell, wicking shirt, and a BOB hat.

And, the remains of my previous cache, which snootier folks than myself had left behind:

Wade Garrett Sleeveless Tribute T (only slightly moldy)

Bottle of New Glarus Fat Squirrel Ale
(I was thirsty and very thankful some trifling label mold had been enough to keep lips off of this tasty brew)

Between new trash, old trash, empties, etc. I had to stash a little bit of garbage up there, so I gotta get back soon. I'd hate to see a California condor die due to a Budweiser Silo wrapped around its neck.

In summation, I think that the author really proved his point, that biking around in a former military base hunting for beers is a perfectly reasonable use of one's Saturday, and said wordsmith probably came close to an epiphany when gazing upon the expanse of Ft. Ord and all he had accomplished that day.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

#24, a.k.a. formerly #19

Same place as 23. Exact same. Same same.

Pulled #23, replaced it with #24. Not like I'm bitter or anything. Just thought another trip to the same spot would be real...awesome.


and do not miss the note, which will explain everything.

23 skidoo

I know.

Like you wouldn't have. Please.

So 23 was a thorn in my side. 1st it was confusing, then it was all just a big misunderstanding. Today was my 3rd attempt at cracking this nut. Thank Goodness it was successful or I'd be nuts

Altar at the top of 49...

and photographic PROOF that #24 ne #19 is out there.

An awesome cache of super moldy goods. One of the Bud tallboys had burst and doused the package, aside from the torrential downpour's effects. You really cannot appreciate the growth from a picture.

I rode back down the "sister" to drink the remaining tallboy. After I warshed the top off with my water bottle.
Really just an all around win.

Monday, October 26, 2009

#23 Redux - Red Herring

So, after riding from Creekside on Saturday, I came upon the realization that the 3 Sisters is in fact NOT where I thought it was. In fact what in my mind were the 3 Sisters (a series of steep rises with short breaks) is actually unmarked, and the 3 Sisters is, uh, the 3 Sisters. I'd apologize but you know what they say, "fool you twice, shame on you".

The good news is that I found a new piece of rubbish treasure along the trail to add to the cache, which is still in its original place.

Checkpoint Charlie

WRONG - leprechauns do not exist

Pink Elephants on the other hand....

Bird be-shitted rock

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Been a long time comin

Coming soon .. early Nov?.. VCM special edition - the Badger Box

I'm sure all you Wisconsinites are jazzed

Monday, September 28, 2009

23 Enigma

Many a fatbody has huffed and puffed their way past this here spot, but ever stopped for a spell? It's kinda nice, in fact I'd say that on a scale of:

it's definitely between a solid:
and maybe even sniffing at this:

so that's what that one last kicker looks like from afar. words to the daring dipsomaniac: liquids contained within will be HOTHOTHOT unless retrieved at dawn or after sundown...but you already knew that.

bird (?) shit has conveniently marked the spot

blurry cause it was getting real dark

In fact by the time I got within distance of civilization it was full-on darkness; perfect time for me to try to take a "shortcut" and end up on some unknown trails

ah but how high the moon. what's that you say? you'd fancy a light our trails for us when you're all big and shiny on Sunday night? can do, good sir.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

#22 - "Blew the whole damn thing apart"

La Mirada. I just happened by this place for the first time on Saturday, and I said to myself, "aha!"

A little Monterey-style history about La Mirada:
-blah blah blah Steinbeck blah blah blah Hendrix burning his guitar blah blah blah Jazz Festival blah blah blah Rich people swinging their rods at little white balls blah blah blah

Pretty damn arty for a camera phone

Totally accidental arty seat tube / redwood trunk alignment

Believe me, there is nothing I like more than a non-challenge

The loot: sweet tartan flask, some Hamms'er gels, Pebble Beach Concours D'Elegance hat (local dog, pony, old car and trophy wife show), and a companion piece to my Super-Large SRAM vest, in a slimming blue and orange.

Stay off the tip

You just know I had to get arty with it. This piece represents Philosophy...Man's search for faith...that kinda shit.

Then again, we all know when the real art show is coming to town....

Good to get back in the game, I know we've been slipping on the old hide-the-can. Tomorrow's trip to Minneapolis will no doubt reap some VERY fine treats to plant upon my return. Setting the bar high, hoping for a sweatshirt of a Loon howling at the moon.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

_____ #22

The Catch being that you gotta get it to get it. Get it?

If everone is finished being upset by 21, we can move forward.*

You're arty, right? Then you should know about this joint.

Stand here, and turn around.

Do not sleep on this one. There is a particularly nice arty piece in there. Which is fragile.

*If not, well.

Monday, July 27, 2009

21?! where are my 21 shots of _______________?

I took a picture with my phone, but it costs me $money to put it on here, and I am unable to part with $money in connection with this bitter fiasco.

Because the non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee was a cruel, cruel joke. I wouldn't have noticed, most likely, except that Old Milwaukee is almost Milwaukee's Beast when it comes to being only a c___ hair above 211 Steel Reserve in "quality". There is a difference, but it is close. They are all "beers" that require the alcohol they contain to justify forcing them down, so the hard heartedness- wow.


I can only hope it was a terrible mix-up and some 1st grader mistakenly received a gag gift of a pint of Old Crow that was the originally intended filler for Old #21. And plus I was sure there was going to be an ass load of fireworks.

Friday, July 24, 2009

21 will light up your life

Here's a new one, just in time for the weekend and any small-town parades and pyrotechnics it may bring. Blankets are reserving spots for the VeloCache discovery, so you'll have an watchful audience as you lurk and loiter about.

I planted this one at 11:45. Did you know that in addition to the three days it is closed entirely the library is only open 12-5 on Fridays? Tragedy. Makes a teacher weep.

And I heard the PGPD is understaffed too, so maybe there won't be too many overtime cops encouraging you to not dig root around.

20 is doneski

Nick has been in, out, and away for a while, so we were quite happy to get an evening ride in together on Wednesday. We climbed to Veteran's Park (huff, puff) and attempted to retrace by memory where our fearless leader had previously led us through yards by moonlight. We didn't find the way, but we did find some occasionally rooty, often steep, and once flanked by a 3-story staircase trails and fire roads behind the Presidio.

I know, you already knew about them and explore them in your sleep, but we didn't, so leave us alone in our discovery.

The last of these roads sent us flying steeply down one of those "damn, even if this is the wrong way, there's no way I'm turning around" hills. We did not end up at the bridge as planned, but rather had to sneak through a gap in the fence to spit out onto 68 a half mile down from it. So we rode up the hill and then climbed up under the bridge and into dripping fog. I didn't know fog dripped, but I guess a San Francisco woman collected 60 gallons one summer in her rain barrel from her roof. Who knew?

So we got the cache. I'm not telling what's in it, but it's in our desk drawer now.

Monday, July 20, 2009


Velocache Monterey now is old enough to think it's an adult, yet remain firmly rooted in self-centered irresponsibility. And be especially bitter that it is not legally able to drink; particularly in light of the fact that illicit recreational use of alcohol has been going on since like the get go.

I do what I want.

Anyhow, excitable #20 is a text only cache, aimed squarely at participants from the Full Buck Moon Ride, or the excessively interested and clever. So but remember that one stop where the stolen department store Schwinn Stingray (new school clone) was? OK. Remember the Velocache found just up the road? There're 3 crumpled Tecate cans there now. In one of them is the treasure.Trust me when I say: "You want this one."

Get it before it gets wet and ruined...


Also, here is a notice:

I dug up and drunk down the 2 Tecate cans buried in the sand from #18 Barely Legal. That spot is still awesome. The beers were cool to the touch. Too bad for you, my friend.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

#14 M.I.A.

Some soulless low level city worker must have removed poor #14 from it's AWESOME perch on the monument. We can only hope it was the source of much hand-wringing and sweaty anxiety before going to it's fate, whatever sad event that was.


Yes. Get off your motherfucking asses and get some damn caches!

Don't let the small minded pinks win...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

n-n-n-n-n-nineteen (#19)

On the Monterey Peninsula today, a velocache spokesman said you chumps need to harden the fuck up and get this cache quick.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

oh, and also

short people. Pffffft. Get over yourselfs. #14 is what it is. Get off your dwarfish ass and make it happen.

#18...barely legal

But, oh! so worth it.

Stepped out my house, stopped short- oh no! Why is my dang thing burning like that? Cruised through the woods on the way to the bike path, and all the grass is brown. It's getting hottt in here.

I had a general idea where this cache would be (uh, by the ocean) but not really. What a fantastic spot!

I had to do some math in my head here, which was hard. If you are here yourself, and you look on the other side of that plinth, there will be a cool-ish Tecate under some rubble. But it won't last, I'm sure.

The graffiti is unimaginative.

Except this one; that's cool.

I rode this far.

Here's some digging.

So effing cool, I cannot believe it! I don't know where Lord Hayden gets these treasures, but he must have fortified hisself with a whole heap of Golden Drak to think of giving them away...

Even though there was no supplied opener...I drank the Belgian hooch in the tankard right there, so's I could get into that headspace. What a fantastic spot!

I buried 2 Tecates in the spot so if someone and someone's sweetie want to go there, they can. There's even semi-burnt logs right there, but it'd have to be a still night to allow a fire. The wind rips through there. You can watch the pelicans, gulls, buzzards, etc ride the ridgeline.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

#18 Sandin' ev'ry 'rifice

So it seems that a certain someone mashed a velocache and then skipped town for Africa of all places, leaving me to repay the gods. Well two can play at that game, so I stashed one of my own on my way out of town for some wedding, rafting, and mtb in the motherland. Never have you been so excited to trudge through so much for so little gain.

Sorry bro, 9' 11" is the limit. Better pull a 540 tailwhip.

Librals are rueing are fun

OK so now you are all turned around again, but I can't blame you for being intrigued.

Especially by this sweet tag. I for one am intimidated by that walking donut. And by intimidated I mean "let's go out to the lobby, to get ourselves some snacks!"

All right Enuff Z'nuff. Let's get after that cache, shall we?

Walk up this. OR, if you're not a total sandbag ride it.

Don't try to tell me that all of the iceplant and sand looks the same, 'cause I AINT HEARING IT

Just head at that nob

And git' ta diggin!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I'm sure he's in a better place now.....R.I.P. #9

Our merry crew was out riding near the bench today, and sad to say that Velocache #9 has presumably been hung high.

When you hang a man, you better look at him

The list of suspects runs the usual gamut; Steinbeck's thirsty ghost, owls (they are thick over there I hear), or the lengthy list of young children who have collected previous caches without laying down any treats. I for one believe that the wily gangsters of Salinas have instituted hill climbs and cache infiltration to their initiation rites.

He died doing what he loved, waiting for someone to bike by and drink him. (makes half-assed sign of the cross motion)

Thursday, June 4, 2009

a friendly reminder

HEY! ALL YOU DOUCHEY POSERS with your bicycle "lifestyle" choices: stop fucking around.

Yes, that's right. You are here, and I am here and that makes it our time. You heard right, stop fucking around on "our time".

What's wrong with a little fucking around on our time, you ask?

Some of us are trying to have some actual, real, non-digital, in-the-world fun. Some gritty, old fashioned, sweaty hide the can/find the can par-tay action. And we use bicycles! Dude on dude, dude on chick, chick on chick, all of the above on bicycles and on the dope.

But here's the thing: posing to have your picture taken so's you can post up on Facebook or some other version of make believe see how adventuresome I am tiredness is not part of the action! Finding a cache and then not hiding one is for losers or triathaletes I guess. All's I know is I want my motherfucking USPS sleeved koozie back. One of us actual velocachers deserves that.

Put up or shut up. If I had a Facebook account I'd be flinging shit at your wall like a rabid mandrill with a rectal abcess.


As a side note, #14 is still out there. Find that shit.

Friday, May 29, 2009

The best part of waking up - 17 be claimed

This was my first 7am Velocache experience. It was done well.

My ride to school along the auto parkway (aah! the irony!) tends to be misty and dullish, usually a bit late and a bit groggy. With a swing in my step I mounted my bicycle early enough for a good scavenge.

Sticking to business, I dug under the decorative sculptures before even ordering coffee. A sipping fellow and his lovely dog were confused as to why a customer would dig in the metal toys despite a sign specifically prohibiting it.

When what, to my wondering eyes should appear, but a sticker-filled bottle, cowbell and cheap beer!

And upon closer examination yet, I realized that the coffee bag was not merely decorative but a $10 gift certificate. Thanks, Steve! A half pound of coffee and a ham and cheese croissant make for a phenomenal start to a day.

And this troll was most happy that I shared.