warnung

PSA to follow.



Sometimes you just need a little help.



Soooooo. If you find yourself lost/sober/in need of repairs and you know where this is...you, my friend, are in luck.

#44. Beauty, eh?

Take off, hoser. If you, like, ride your bike then a Good Time is guaranteed.



This is looking towards the Great White North, eh?




And, like, those of you who rode the Sleaze Otter will totally know where this is.




OK, so there is a velocache, like, secreted in there. You should get it. There is a beauty trail coming down from there, and you could take that.


All this because there is a Strange Brew in there...





...but Traffic is better than Cream.

#41 Josshole Junction

DO NOT read the rest of this post until you hear about CC's Strokin' Stick

I sure took my sweet time picking up this cache.  I like to savor the hunt? Can't be that I don't go out of my way to talk to strangers or feel weird about being in bike shops where I used to be one of the shifty derelicts and now I'm just Joe Schmoe.

"Can I have that velocache?"
"Oh....I don't know how the game works.  Do I just give it to you?"
"Yep, pretty much"

I neglected to take any pictures because I'm good like that, but imagine a bike parked in front of a bike store.  It's not that hard.


But I do have pictures of loot:


Belgium's finest cheapest beer, Timbuk2 CoozE, stickers and suntan lotion, a brand-new patched tube, 2 inches of rim tape, and a SWEET jersey of a style that I can't really explain.  Also some proctologist's gloves and a napkin/utensil package, which I assume are to be used in tandem.

Feast your eyes on this hunk of man to make up for the lack of bike pictures:

#43 Foggy Midnight Poison Oak

So I recognized the general local of this one as soon as I saw it so I headed out for it as soon as I could. Unfortunately as usual I was overly confident thinking I knew exactly where it was, however at 1am every tree stump between Monterey and Carmel looks identical in the fog.

I was up all night studying and went out for this one super late when I was done, and as soon as I got on the back roads the fog packed in so densely I had a hard time finding the road let alone the correct stump, but I was determined. After digging behind about a dozen rotting stumps down aquajito, I finally found it, but not before digging through poison oak like an old lady digs through her duffle bag sized purse. Tomorrow when this starts itching I’ll regret going for it in the dark, but the booty was well worth it.

As promised interbike goodies: Yeti beer koozy, a bianchi-esque celeste-colored Shimano trucker hat guaranteed to instantly lower your IQ, some rocking new socks and handful of industry stickers. Also included was a bottle of life saving tonic and an absolutely awesome used pair of Joselyn’s team bib shorts, rad! The best part of this cache was the rain-proofing courtesy of old paper-towel packaging, a classy touch indeed. Great score, great ride, well worth it! Sorry bout the photos, between the dense fog and the piece of junk cell phone camera in the dark, the photos I snapped out there were useless, so I took the pics of the goods at home after a quick de-oaking shower.

#43...everything you hope it will be

You been here?


You know where this one lane goes?


Pfffffft. And you call yourself a cyclist. What the?!? Get here quick. You will learn discipline, climbing, discipline, descending, and a host of convenient and fun little-trafficked connectors from Monterey to Carmel. From the bottom to the top.



This is a good cache. I just returned from interbike. It's all waterproof an shit, but still...

What is the answer to everything?

42.

I am so happy about several stories involving this number, on account of they are funny. My favorite involves Cary _______, and includes the phrase "How old are you?" being uttered by the father of a 21 year old girl. Classy. Not least because Cary's standard ending to any question involving his employment was "...and I do body work."

So, you see.




In any event, this eponymous cache, was the 1st effort by Criffer (I imagine a cane, and a blue bandana, and some intricate hand signals), and it was a good one. I was worried due to all the testicle references in the deployment post that this would be some freaky porno cache.


You wouldn't have loved it on account of there was climbing.




A fair amount of climbing.



Extra points for being sealed with scotch tape.




Some of the booty. I promptly lost these on the climb up through Pebble via some trails. Think how stoked some random pedestrian who doesn't deserve them will be! At least I didn't lose the beer.

This is a BIG TIME haunt of bums and hobos. Just down the street was a hobo bike junkyard a few years ago. Dude was camping amongst at least 9 different bum bikes.

Today as I ate my tasty snacks in the shade, that white sedan pulled up to disgorge a stocking capped bundle of angst. The guy popped out of the passenger seat and dramatically dropped his head into his arms on the roof of the adjacent beater hatchback. After 15 seconds or so, he showily came around and pulled a battery out of the sedan trunk and set to work. His car eventually started, and he pulled out behind the sedan laying on his horn. He honked at that gal for a solid minute and a half while waiting to enter traffic. Minute and a half at least. Wow.

I couldn't have asked for a better show.

#42 Swampside Cache

I am new here to velocache Monterey. I was recently introduced to velocache by assisting in a co-worker’s quest for treasure, and I decided it was my turn to put one out, so here it is.

I won’t give it away but included is the most noble of drinks and the fruits of a stony hour on the couch with a ball of hemp twine.

Here is how she is located. You all know what this is...follow it to the seahorse, or there abouts.

Take the scenic route.

It will lead you to this beautiful hardware store swampland.

On a side note I love that the road has a turn-out for tourists to pull over and marvel in the smell of our local wetland ecosystem. Does anyone else think of Blinky the radioactive three eyed fish on the Simpsons? When the cache was delivered, there was only one car; a geo prism with a young gent in the driver’s seat enjoying what I’m sure must have been an absolutely amazing tweak.

Find the wood sign proclaiming the name of this “lake” once referred to by the previously mentioned co-worker as “the anus of seaside”.

If you’re standing at the sign the treasure is within mere feet of you…so close your balls may actually tingle (or ovaries in the case of the lady-cachers), but to enjoy the goods you need to think green and start climbing.

“There’s nothing like that first taste of beer” – John Steinbeck, Cannery Row