Velocaches In Play

#4 FOUND! Awaiting pictures...go to http://burnhamcoaching.blogspot.com and register a complaint!


#16?...anyone?..."Empire".


#49!!!

#52





Thursday, September 22, 2011

#43 Foggy Midnight Poison Oak

So I recognized the general local of this one as soon as I saw it so I headed out for it as soon as I could. Unfortunately as usual I was overly confident thinking I knew exactly where it was, however at 1am every tree stump between Monterey and Carmel looks identical in the fog.

I was up all night studying and went out for this one super late when I was done, and as soon as I got on the back roads the fog packed in so densely I had a hard time finding the road let alone the correct stump, but I was determined. After digging behind about a dozen rotting stumps down aquajito, I finally found it, but not before digging through poison oak like an old lady digs through her duffle bag sized purse. Tomorrow when this starts itching I’ll regret going for it in the dark, but the booty was well worth it.

As promised interbike goodies: Yeti beer koozy, a bianchi-esque celeste-colored Shimano trucker hat guaranteed to instantly lower your IQ, some rocking new socks and handful of industry stickers. Also included was a bottle of life saving tonic and an absolutely awesome used pair of Joselyn’s team bib shorts, rad! The best part of this cache was the rain-proofing courtesy of old paper-towel packaging, a classy touch indeed. Great score, great ride, well worth it! Sorry bout the photos, between the dense fog and the piece of junk cell phone camera in the dark, the photos I snapped out there were useless, so I took the pics of the goods at home after a quick de-oaking shower.


Monday, September 19, 2011

#43...everything you hope it will be


You been here?


You know where this one lane goes?


Pfffffft. And you call yourself a cyclist. What the?!? Get here quick. You will learn discipline, climbing, discipline, descending, and a host of convenient and fun little-trafficked connectors from Monterey to Carmel. From the bottom to the top.



This is a good cache. I just returned from interbike. It's all waterproof an shit, but still...

What is the answer to everything?

42.

I am so happy about several stories involving this number, on account of they are funny. My favorite involves Cary _______, and includes the phrase "How old are you?" being uttered by the father of a 21 year old girl. Classy. Not least because Cary's standard ending to any question involving his employment was "...and I do body work."

So, you see.




In any event, this eponymous cache, was the 1st effort by Criffer (I imagine a cane, and a blue bandana, and some intricate hand signals), and it was a good one. I was worried due to all the testicle references in the deployment post that this would be some freaky porno cache.


You wouldn't have loved it on account of there was climbing.




A fair amount of climbing.



Extra points for being sealed with scotch tape.




Some of the booty. I promptly lost these on the climb up through Pebble via some trails. Think how stoked some random pedestrian who doesn't deserve them will be! At least I didn't lose the beer.

This is a BIG TIME haunt of bums and hobos. Just down the street was a hobo bike junkyard a few years ago. Dude was camping amongst at least 9 different bum bikes.

Today as I ate my tasty snacks in the shade, that white sedan pulled up to disgorge a stocking capped bundle of angst. The guy popped out of the passenger seat and dramatically dropped his head into his arms on the roof of the adjacent beater hatchback. After 15 seconds or so, he showily came around and pulled a battery out of the sedan trunk and set to work. His car eventually started, and he pulled out behind the sedan laying on his horn. He honked at that gal for a solid minute and a half while waiting to enter traffic. Minute and a half at least. Wow.

I couldn't have asked for a better show.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

#42 Swampside Cache

I am new here to velocache Monterey. I was recently introduced to velocache by assisting in a co-worker’s quest for treasure, and I decided it was my turn to put one out, so here it is.

I won’t give it away but included is the most noble of drinks and the fruits of a stony hour on the couch with a ball of hemp twine.
Here is how she is located. You all know what this is...follow it to the seahorse, or there abouts.
Take the scenic route.

It will lead you to this beautiful hardware store swampland.

On a side note I love that the road has a turn-out for tourists to pull over and marvel in the smell of our local wetland ecosystem. Does anyone else think of Blinky the radioactive three eyed fish on the Simpsons? When the cache was delivered, there was only one car; a geo prism with a young gent in the driver’s seat enjoying what I’m sure must have been an absolutely amazing tweak.

Find the wood sign proclaiming the name of this “lake” once referred to by the previously mentioned co-worker as “the anus of seaside”.

If you’re standing at the sign the treasure is within mere feet of you…so close your balls may actually tingle (or ovaries in the case of the lady-cachers), but to enjoy the goods you need to think green and start climbing.

“There’s nothing like that first taste of beer” – John Steinbeck, Cannery Row

Monday, August 29, 2011

rounding the corner into cougardom...#41 THIS IS NOT TRASH!

Slow roll it.




Not only do you hafta...move it to the Left, you gotta move it to the Right. You gotta move it allll night. Lissen:


This is NOT trash! It's velocache. Offer not available to employees.








If these types of characters seem familiar, you know where you can go.






This place! Head inside and ask around. Maybe pick up a patch-kit or a custom titanium off-road touring bike. You owe it to yourself.




These 2 lovely matching! Centurions are For Sale. Perfect for him and him. They are cheap and easy, but they look realllllll sophisticated.


Stroke it with the motion.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

#40? crow black chicken



Uh, good evening. I left my phone at home for this one. That is always/never a fine idea. It hurt because, as ever, I glanced at the ID photos and thought "yeah yeah yeah. I know generally where that is. I can find it, no problem."

In the words of someone even more well versed in making a ass of himself via a bicycle than myself: "what could possibly go wrong?"

So. My last text message to FNG, and hopefully potential player, C____ had said to meet on the bike path at the seahorse. But not having a phone, I wasn't sure if he knew where that is, or had even received said text.

{aside: people nowadays use cell phones as a way to hold every planned event hostage up to the last minute. I'm speaking generally, but of course I mean YOU. It's true, though, and you know it. People will text (cuz there's no immediate hassling back talk) at 12 minutes to launch to say they aren't coming. No one wants to be the bad guy by just declining in the 1st place? I'm so over it. All y'all can take a lesson from Horton the Elephant; a true blue brother who said what he meant.}

And I'm sitting under the tree drinking a tall boy and looking at the Cside seahorse, when C____ rolls up. Nice.



I have not been riding, so I was hoping for a mellow roll to the locale in which I was dead certain we'd find the traysure. It was cool. But can you imagine Doobie in your funk? HO! W-E-F-U-N-K.



The missing photo here would depict a run down WWII era dump with top-hatted figures artlessly scrawled upon it.




But...there is no Goods?

Apparently the nazi zombies made it there 1st. Or maybe it was the shambling homeless. Could have been some sex crazed druggy co-eds.



Nazi zombies?



The threat of zombies, bums, and decay notwithstanding we proceeded to boozily suppose that the pictures had been misleading and adventure further up the path looking for more dangerous and creepy shacks into which we might break. Now, this is not so easily dismissible a drunken notion as some- it is a known fact that the hider of this cache is free with his associations and puts, like, math in the clues, and just plain gets the names/locations of trails wrong...

We followed EMO into that shack. A piece of steel window strip was erratically banging in the breeze. Such a perfect bit of staging to really up the goosebumps. Other than that it was the standard rat turds, mildew, old beer cans, vague threat of bats, plastic sheeting and hot pink blouse which had been cut in half and left on the floor.




Finally, we did what any self-respecting hard core bad-asses would do. We climbed up the rickety fire tower out back and drank more beer.

38 .... Redux

Well the skies weren't quite as dramatic as I set out for my first real ride since traveling for over five weeks.....but I've accepted my mission....there was no river boat, no air cav, but I could feel it in the air as I rolled out of the garage....the horror.....the horror.
Ok.....a little dramatic....but as innocuous as a ride across the ord may see as certain trail that has lay number lay between me and the cache....The goat trail.....don't know what it is....maybe the monkeys migrated over from 82 but I have a tenancy to overcook it on that trail (click the bike shot, if you look closely you can see the bent saddle)....today was no different. But the cache was just around the corner along with first aid beer (a little for my knee, the rest for my ego) and a pretty sweet cache....a bay bike bottle, a little htc schwag, a "bring it on" little zip pouch and some styling socks.....nice and warm for August in Monterey...it all made the ride home on a pretty slopin saddle worth it.